Sunshine and happiness

I was reading through some of my old posts and I noticed I've talked a lot about being happy. I think I've made it sound like I haven't been happy and I've been trying to make myself happy. Not true! I've really been quite happy with life, but just like any person have issues sometimes or have hormonal imbalances that cause my emotions to go bizerk! (sorry hubs).

So just to be clear: I am very happy! In fact many times in my life I've been asked if I do drugs or something because they thought a person could only be that happy artificially.  Turns out you can be happy without drugs or other substances! Yep I've done it. Done it for my whole life.  My mom used to say "she's high on life." Good way to put it mom, thanks for backin' me up.  I remember my 7th grade history teacher calling my mom and telling her that I did drugs because I had drawn a mushroom on my paper.  Mom says "I know my daughter and she doesn't do drugs." My teacher said: "well no one can be that happy all the time." Well she was wrong.

And I think for this reason I have to have a daughter named Sunny.  A little ray of sunshine in our home. If I get all boys...I guess I could live with that. But Sunny if you're out there, please don't leave me in a house full of boys.

I've learned quite a few lessons throughout my life about being happy. A few of which I'll share below.  If you want to know, read on!

1. No one can make you happy and no one can make you mad.  I remember my mom telling me this a long time ago. Thanks again momma!  We choose to get angry when someone does something we don't like and we also can choose to be happy.  I admit it is SO hard to not get angry when everything else inside me is saying "smack that person!" But if we take a deep breath, think about what we will say or not say before it spills out of our mouth, we can often diffuse what could otherwise become a heated argument or a day spent fuming about whatever was wronged.  As for choosing to be happy, it really is a choice. We can choose to dwell on things we cannot control. I know some people that seem to do this for drama's sake.  Better to focus on what is in our control and pray to the Lord for things we cannot control that are in His hands. Then trust that everything will be ok.

2. Exercise! I've been taught this since elementary school and from legally blonde =) "Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't shoot their husbands." Thank you Elle Woods.  Seriously though if I haven't exercised in a while, I start to get cranky.  I feel more tired, more irritable.  I was an athlete all my life, but once you're not in an organized sport it's hard to stay active and figure out what to do. My dashing husband bought me a gym membership and that first day on the treadmill I was almost crying with joy. That sounds ridiculous, trust me I felt ridiculous. Happy crying over gym time? (a bit hormonal that day) But running through my mind was, "this is awesome! this feels so good!"  We need a release of every day pressures, exercise can do that!  Or oreos...lol



3. Wear makeup. Ya so I might not go anywhere today and my husband might be the only one who sees me.  But I'm not one of those people who looks great without makeup, so when I put it on I feel so much better! I feel more alive and awake.  Some of you out there look amazing with no fix up, but for the rest of us, wow what a difference. Confidence booster.  I heard someone say once "even an old barn looks good with a new coat of paint." So true!

4. Have faith. If you read my blog or know me, you know I'm mormon.  Follow the link on the side to know more about that.  Whether you are baptist, catholic, mormon, it doesn't matter. All people need faith in God.  In all truth, all of these other things I've mentioned like exercise doesn't matter a whole lot unless I am being true to the faith I hold dear.  Prayer, daily scripture study, and doing those things with your family will change your life.  Sure you could get by and probably be pretty happy, but you will feel real, tangible happiness with prayer and scripture study part of your life.  It has changed the course of my life dramatically and I've seen others take a totally different path who have ended up very unhappy.  Seriously, it makes all the difference.

5. Get outside of yourself. Serve someone else.




A lot of what I hear on TV and such is "focus on yourself" "you are what is most important." Sure it is important to take care of your physically, spiritually, mentally etc.  But it's not ok to be selfish.  If you've ever served someone else whether it was bringing them dinner, teaching them something, being their friend when they're alone, etc...you feel amazing! All those warm fuzzies inside make you happy.  My first semester at college, I felt pretty alone. I had made friends, but I felt so intimidated by all the pretty smart girls everywhere! (other lesson, don't compare yourself).  But I got caught up in this trap of feeling like I wasn't that good after all.  Thankfully one day I snapped out of it. I had a thought that if I really wanted to be happy with myself, I needed to get out of my own little bubble and be with other people! Love them, get to know them, help them, listen to them. And I was cured. So try it, bring in your neighbors trash can today =)

6. Create something. Read or watch a wonderful talk about this by Dieter F. Uctdorf.  In it he says "the desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul."  One of the main reasons why I love art so much and chose it as a career was that I could create something beautiful that didn't exist!  I find so much satisfaction in sewing, writing, drawing, painting and anything involved with creating. Kids too. Ask any little kid and they love to draw, sing, dance, make mud pies.  It's us old people that talk ourselves out of those things because we think we're not good enough.  Just do it anyway.

The most amazing, precious thing I have ever created: my little boy.   Obviously I couldn't do this alone =) I know without a doubt my husband and I's happiest moment was seeing our son for the first time. I marveled all the time thinking, oh my gosh we made that? That baby was just inside me? What?! Truly incredible.  The phase of parenting with children at home is rough. I hear women complain about it often.  If you find yourself in this boat, remember this:

So moral of the story...you don't have to do drugs to be happy.  There are plenty of other ways, FAR BETTER ways.

So be happy!

Side note, watching my husband play with our son: yep that's a  happy moment.

Around here.

Transition from working mom to stay at home mom was really exciting.  And I admit I was really looking forward to it, so much more time (I thought).  While yes I have more time at home I now have a small window of time during his naptime to do my own art stuff or read or clean.  I'm determined to make sure I'm spending my time wisely, I hate the feeling of wasting time! But now that I have so much of it, I'm not totally sure what to do with it.  I've made a schedule for myself and have stuck to it somewhat.  I don't know about you, but I need structure and goals or I feel like I'm floating around and being useless.  A while ago I made this little chalkboard canvas I see when I go up the stairs.  It serves as a good reminder when I'm feeling more down than up: 

It's been smudged by people getting too close, so sorry my chalk ain't perfect.  But still a great quote nonetheless.  I shouldn't just be enduring through all the junk of regular life every day, but it needs to be enjoyed! It's hard to remember that in the moments when your son poops on the floor or pulls down a drink spilling it all over the place, you know "life's bleachable moments."  How do you do it? How do you enjoy life while living it? And to quote my favorite show of all time "I wish there was a way to know that you're in the good ol' days before you've actually left them." lol.  Oh Nard dog. 

Anyway, seriously.  Enjoy life now.  Not once your husband gets into med school, or you buy a house, or live by family again.  Mostly talking to myself here :) Sure it's easy to know something, but to do it is entirely different.  I know I should enjoy it all, and most of the time I do.  I think most importantly it's taking the time for little things. Prayer, scripture study as a family and by yourself, , prayer as a family, exercise, chilling out and not taking everything so seriously, and taking time to be creative every day.  At least for me, those are important and if I can do all of that every day, I am happy.

Also projects make me happy...so happy.  My awesome brother and sister in law gave us their black bookshelf.  Since the Mister is off of work this week, we're gonna overhaul these babies and hopefully have something I like looking at every day.  Check it out later and see what it has become.

 My other happy place, making art.  Especially when it's going well, and not when I can't get fingers right or the nose in the right place.  But I'm proud to say, I think I'm finally done with my illustrations for Bedtime story for Jeffrey.  Feels good.  There's always things I want to change and do over...but I gotta just give it a rest.  This is my first job, hopefully there are more later so I can improve my skill.s

The models are my sister in law Mandi and my nephew Gavin. They are so stinkin' cute.  

Words to live by: Love at home diy board

I wanted to make something special to hang on our wall, that could grow with us as a family, reminded me of what was important, and was something pretty to look at too! No pressure. One of my favorite hymns came to mind "Love at Home."  I love the words and especially the line:

"Roses bloom beneath our feet, all the earth's a garden sweet, making life a bliss complete, when there's love at home."  

Aren't those words just beautiful?! So I took my favorite phrases from it and painted them on a board I had laying around.  Since my brushstrokes aren't perfect, I outlined my letters with a sharpie.  I painted some roses beneath the words, you could use a stencil for all this but I like to free hand it.  Then I made my husband step in paint, such a good sport, and stamp his foot.  I did mine next, and then stamped our then 4 month old's foot.  So that little the roses literally bloom beneath our feet =)  I left room for the other children that will come.  David's friend was laughing wondering how MUCH room I left for other little feet. =) 7 more??? just kidding!

Pretty simple project, but sentimental nonetheless and I love love it.

What do you think? What sort of things do you guys have with family meanings in your homes?

Harrison collage

Harrison from brand new to now.  He's changed a lot, but still looks the same to me.  His little newborn face is still him.  My sister or maybe my mom...can't remember, gave me some stick on ties for month to month, but I found them again too late! So I never got any pictures with the ties, but for our next baby I already have them! Even if it's a girl, kidding. After a while he wouldn't fit in his white onesie I had.  He was small enough to wear the same little white onesie from birth to about 10 months old! Plus my genius plan of our dark couch being the backdrop worked great until he decided he was too cool to lay still for a picture anymore.  Hence the last ones don't match =) I finally took the time to put them all in a little collage. Here he is! Ta da!

motherhood and illustration

Anyone who knows me will probably know that this last year working was extremely difficult.  I loved working and being fulfilled in that way, but I missed H and wanted myself to be the one to teach him everything.  I tried to be that role when I was with him, but still felt like I was missing out.You moms out there who work are amazing.  It's tough to manage your family when you're not there.  And I only have one kid! People do this with lots of kids!  I'm so fortunate that I can stay home for a while and raise my kids.  I may go back to work sooner than later, but not knowing when right now is grrrreat.  Really I'd love to just be an illustrator and work from home.  I wish I would have thought of that while I was still in school. Phooey.

Like this by Rudolf Koivu, beautiful.
                                     
I love children's illustration! Maybe because I'm looking at children's books all the time with H and got my first illustration job that kind of fell in my lap. But I really enjoy it.  I'm trying to self-educate in terms of general illustration methods and ideas, but I'd really love to go back to school for that.  In the mean time, I'll have to put myself through the Rachel Chinn school of illustration.  It'll be fun =) I'll post some of my new stuff later.  I'm still updating my website, trying to get a feel for the best things to have on there and what I'm all about.  Sticking with something is hard for me because I like everything!


Since my last day of work last week, we've been to Thanksgiving point (a dinosaur museum and country farm), seven peaks water park, I've fixed some of my illustrations for "Bedtime story for Jeffrey," done some illustrating on my own, cleaned our house, and got to spend lots of time with my boys! So far I'm likin' this new job of mommy illustrator.

In the short time I've gotten to be home all day with Harrison, I've seen him do so much!  I'm trying to remember he is growing fast and not to miss any moments with him.  He'll be going on a mission before I know it!  So any computer, blogging, pinteresting, I save for while he's napping so I'm present when he's awake.  I made the mistake of not being truly present for just 5 minutes and he was into daddy's briefcase, pulling out a kershaw knife, gum, and all kinds of other things not approved for children. I'm embarrassed to say that, but I'm glad I learned the lesson to be PRESENT all the time before something worse happened.  The kershaw knife was by far the worst thing he could have found, but thankfully it's folded up and has a latch to release it, but still...not ok. I can't believe some of the things parents let their children do, or DO to their children.  Did you see the article about the baby found in a sewer pipe in china!?!?! I couldn't watch, it made me physically ill.  That someone could do that to an infant, do they have a soul?! Pray for the children out there! I wish I could bring them all to my house.

On a happier note, all the fun things we got to do this week made for great photo ops. You know the whole take pictures of my kid with a cow so he can see he met a cow when he was a baby.  Funny the things we do, but I love pictures.

This was right before he started crying. For some reason he seemed way more afraid of the fake cow than the real cows.

Yes that is a calf sucking on my fingers. Did you know their tongues are all rough? It feels like a cat tongue, weird.

Oh and he wasn't afraid at all of the big fake dinosaur, way less threatening than a soft baby goat.

He likes to crawl into small spaces. Oh this boy warms my heart.

Here's to making memories with children and having fun doing it.

13 months

This kid is 13 months! (and a week).  People usually say, oh is he about 8 months old? Well by his size they're pretty close.  He is kind of a runt, but a smarty pants otherwise.  When I'd hear people say "my son is 13 months old", I used to think, why don't you just say he's a year?  That seemed so specific.  Like I don't say, I'm 27 and 3 weeks old. But now I know. Even in just a month he has learned and grown so much! I'd hate to jip him (how does one spell jip, you know what word I'm talking about) on that one month of extra goodness he's earned!

In this past month he...

-finally got his top 2 teeth! Now he can actually bite food, a whole new world of possibilities has opened!

-says "uh-oh" and "night-night" except it sounds like "na-na"

-plays peekaboo with his blanket

-pushes our clothes hamper everywhere like a walker

-dives from kneeling, he thinks it's hilarious

-claps! he claps for everything

-finally he has learned to do "eat" in sign language and he sort of does more and all done

-will sit still while I read to him, love this!

-waves bye-bye at everything

-will stick his toys in spaces in our entertainment center and then look for them

At every stage I think, this is so fun! I love this age! All his stages have been fun, I can't pick a favorite. But so far this is in the top. He is the happiest sweetest little boy.  I am so lucky.  

I made him a board book with pictures of his family =) it is awesome! he loves it and he came in the mail SUPER fast.  I'm a pretty satisfied customer.  I used this company.

 He pulls out the toys from our bookshelf and climbs in.  

 I bought him a puzzle with the planets.  He mostly just eats them.  To him the puzzle pieces fit right in his mouth, not in the puzzle.

 I love Costco, especially for the samples.  I take Harrison and we go around and try stuff.  Perfect way to see what he'll eat and I don't  have to waste money on it! He loves the chiana masala.  It has chickpeas, onions, and all kinds of spices.  So surprised about that one!

 He always rubs his food in his hair.  I'm thinking there's a market for baby shower caps for mealtimes.

 Practicing with the plate.  So far no dumping.

This is his I just ate mac and cheese face. And hair.

Party like it's your birthday

I had a birthday shout hooray! As always my hubs makes it great. It's sort of become a tradition for him to trick  surprise me all throughout the day. Because this happens so much I should be able to tell when he's fooling me, but he's just so believable! 

He told me he had to go in early to work, no biggie.  Usually happens.  So he kisses me goodbye while I'm sleeping and I hear the door close.  He did go to work but came back before I woke up. When I was in the shower I heard a crash of pots of something downstairs...intruder!! Thankfully he came and scared me again in the bathroom so I would know not to get the gun.  He made me breakfast on kirk family tradition "your the best" plate. 

While I'm eating he says, so I've been really busy and haven't been able to get you anything yet. Totally fine, and totally believable.  But then when I walked back through the living room there was a big box with a nikon camera! D3200! AHHHH!  I have one I bought for my classroom but have to leave it at the end of the year.  I didn't want to part with it.  I was hoping for it as some sort of going away present??! But now I can leave it behind because I have an even better one! Yipeeee!!   Such an amazing quality with this instead of just my point and shoot camera.  I'm kind of obsessed with taking pictures and making photo books.  

He took me to Texas roadhouse where our friends were waiting, didn't expect that either.  He told me we could do that another day.  Got me again David. Got Harrison a side of veggies.  This kid loves broccoli! 

 The boys blowing bubbles on such a lovely spring day. So handsome!

 It wasn't just my birthday. I have a twin. His name is Todd. This face of his below says it all.  Always been a goober.  In all our 27 years together, wow I'm almost 30, he has been such a wonderful friend.  I admit growing up we weren't really friends persay, he was more like my competition that I got joy in beating.  He'd say I couldn't run faster than him, but I could.

When we moved to Lumberton in 9th grade and knew no one, we became insta-friends.  Most people thought he was my boyfriend since we were together all the time, eww.  But I'm so grateful for that move, even though I hated life at the time, it brought me closer to my brother.  Now he and his wife (my best-friend/roommate from college, PERFECT!) are our only family living close by.  I'm so glad they've stuck around.  I sure do love them. As much as I give Todd a hard time about his talking on the phone for hours, talking in general, and many other things... I love him.  Happy birthday baby a.


Because I'm the "family photographer," it's rare I'm actually in the pictures.  David did his best and took one. Thanks babe.

And this picture has nothing to do with anything I've just said, but I think baby butts are the cutest things on the planet. He might hate me one day for this.  But his future wife can admire his cuteness.

Yay for good birthdays.

Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured

I love this picture of my man and my boy so much.  A little peek into life at our house.  David is busy every day of the week.  

Sundays are pretty much all day for meetings, church, counting tithing, and then being with us.  

Mondays he's at school until 7pm.  

Tuesdays work and school, then I'm off to mutual with the young women at 7 and we don't see each other til like 8:30 pm.  

Wednesdays it's school + work and then he goes to bishopric meeting at night.  

Thursdays it's school + work and then a 2ft prosthetics meeting at 6pm. 

 Fridays it's school + work and then hopefully date night! 

Saturdays are all about studying and working in the ceramics lab on projects. 

 I'm busy too, working m-f and taking care of Harrison.  In all of it though, we have fun together in the minutes we get.  When David's home and Harrison isn't in bed, they're playing together and david is making him laugh.  We go on walks (when it isn't freezing), have family prayer together (harrison is working on the sitting still part), watch the office together (we are superfans), enjoy good company with friends and fam, support each other in our church callings, support each other in our school life.  Sure things aren't perfect, there are days I reach a boiling point and lose my patience with everything.

There are plenty of days I have no dinner planned, there are no clean dishes or underwear, I can't find my keys, there is food all over the floor where Harrison played the food drop game, etc.  Those days David is an anchor where I am the crazy waves flailing about. He helps me reminder to laugh about it and just flow with it. I feel like when one person is freaking out, the other is strangely calm.  It's this crazy balance that happens.  Thank goodness for my husband.    He is my best friend and I love him.

I've learned many times over the past few years that you need to enjoy the journey.  That "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured" -Gordon B. Hinckley.  That is on my wall now.  A good reminder each day.  Don't wait to be happy, choose to be now!

Other things that brighten my day, parties! Especially when your guest are willing to participate in games that make me laugh. Harrison's first birthday par-tay didn't go as planned since it SNOWED all day that day! But we still had fun =)  Cue pictures below.