Some ponderings...

I think I have failed to see all the blessings that are poured on me each day. Our life, which is filled with insecurities about our future (and therefore scares me sometimes), is pretty dang awesome. I'm at the "everyone I know is pregnant" stage of life. So fun! I remember thinking, how strange all my friends and family decided to have kids at the same time? That's weird. But turns out...I'm just that age. Almost 26. Holy cow. How did this happen? I still feel 18.

But something I've been made very aware of lately is how blessed we are to be expecting a little boy, who so far appears to be totally healthy. Many of my friends have lost children or are struggling to have children.

One day David snapped me into reality and said, "Rachel you'll just have to accept the possibility that we could have a stillborn child." You might think, why would he say something like that?! Well David likes to be a realist and consider all sides of an issue. However depressing that thought is, he likes to be the one prepared for anything. I love that and many other things about him. But just imagining that all this wait and excitement for our son could be over in an instant crushed my heart to oblivion. I can't bear the thought of losing this child, EVER. And I haven't even met him yet. So I have tried to look at every single aspect of this pregnant as being a miracle. Things that might make me uncomfortable like bending over, the baby having hiccups, sleeping, or peeing every 5 seconds...well bring it on! I am trying not to complain and just be in awe every time my baby moves or I feel a jab somewhere because I know there are others who want to be uncomfortable and pregnant but haven't been successful!! It truly is a miracle that a few short months ago, he looked like a gummy bear. And now...he is a functioning little human being. Amazing.

I am so blessed.